you didnt know i had herpes?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
