she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
