To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
