dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
