i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
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