Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
