sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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