he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
