i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize