Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
