Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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