Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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