How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
