Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
