Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
