First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
