chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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