at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize