Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
