I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
