wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
