a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
