Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
