I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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