she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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