dude i'm inner monologue high
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
