Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
