Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
