he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
