So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I love you. Go after that dick
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
