is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I had to cum in my sink.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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