i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
