goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
