Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
