When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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