i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
