Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
