Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
