Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize