why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
