it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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