If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This house was built for laser tag.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
