Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
