this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize