Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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