bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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