Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
