i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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