Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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