Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
