I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Pooping to opera.
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