i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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