WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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