His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
