the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
