Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
