dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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