I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Welp...herpes.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it was like eating out sand paper
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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