you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
