it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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