Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Semen is not good for contacts.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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