wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
