I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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