why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
